


Irksome and Interstellar

by diabolicaldemon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Hux, Asexual Hux, Aside from that everyone is queer, Biromantic Kylo Ren, Bisexual Kylo Ren, Demi Panromantic Phasma, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Two of the main characters are artists woot woot, WHOOEEE, War Meetings, because screw heteronormativity, established relationships - Freeform, heres where my life ends and hell begins, leaf is a good artist bc the force wants them to be, someone tries to shoot Kylo again, the only straights are MarMar and Matthew, the phasma/kylo is in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7382650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabolicaldemon/pseuds/diabolicaldemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The triumvirate of the First Order- General Hux, Captain Phasma, and Commander Ren. Each rather frightening in their own aspects. But as fearsome as they are, they each need release. Phasma, from bottling up emotions all day, Hux, from keeping the Finalizer and Starkiller Base in one piece, and Ren, from pestering everyone all day. </p><p>Officer Leaf, Cecil, MarMar, and Matthew just happen to tag along, but they're cool. </p><p>(Everyone hates the resistance in this fic. And almost nobody is straight.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irksome and Interstellar

**Author's Note:**

> A meeting goes from 'hey ok please listen' to "no fuck not again marmar". Kylo Ren is almost shot. Hux is not amused.

                Ren marched into the meeting, all dark robes and angst, helmet-covered head with its chin up. The man had no sense of when it was or was not appropriate to act like this. And his behavior did not surprise Captain Phasma in the slightest. Over her years working with the large toddler, she had grown accustomed to his dark and menacing persona that hid insecurities. Insecurities that he only allowed one person to see- Cecil. It was well known to the little group of misfits that Commander Ren had a very soft spot for the quirky, dirty-blonde. He sat down, and removed his mask.

                Then there was Lieutenant MarMar. Wherever MarMar was, Officer Matthew was often close by. The two were like Velcro, and, unlike Commander Ren and Cecil, or Captain Phasma and her partner, they had little-to-no criticism to fear, though, if there were any, the criticizers would likely be shot. The no-criticism was due to heteronormativity running rampant throughout the First Order, despite the queerness of the Order’s three main leaders. Granted, rumors did run wild, but none could be confirmed.

                General Hux was a secretive man, he did not like people knowing much, if anything, about his personal life. He deserved his privacy, as each member of the triumvirate did. However, information did get out, which is what led to a week of teasing him about his cat, Millicent. One of the prime jokesters was Cecil, making jokes about _ginger pubes_. Quite irritatingly, Commander Ren sniggered at almost all of them. Almost all of them included ones about the General and his cat twinning. He especially despised those.

                Captain Phasma had just about gotten sick of their phallic jokes. Especially considering the Captain had to tear Commander Ren and General Hux apart whenever the redhead got especially livid. That was one of her least-favorite duties- keeping the Commander and the General from ripping each other to shreds. Her escape from all of this typically rested in her quarters, reading and planning and sketching. This escape was her partner, Officer Leaf.

                Officer Leaf was relatively young, compared to the triumvirate. At only age 15, they had started working for the Order as an escape from their parents. By the time they turned 18, it was clear that they didn’t plan on going back home. Their parents sent transmission after transmission, but alas, Leaf refused to hear them out. When their father attempted to visit for their 18th birthday, Captain Phasma released all regard for protocol, and shot at him, point blank. That happened to be the last time he, or any other family members, for that matter, attempted to contact them. And that’s how the now 20-year-old worked in the First Order.

                Cecil didn’t have the most important job in the First Order, but nonetheless, he was a member of the group. Anyone who didn’t know his shenanigans would be very confused as to why a design artist is entering meetings with Commander Ren, Captain Phasma, and General Hux. People did, eventually, get used to it, figuring his design artist job was a cover-up. What nobody really knew was how many stupid jokes ensued once the doors were closed. Plus, Commander Ren wouldn’t let anyone dare try to take his baby’s job from him.

                MarMar and Cecil were longtime friends, though it didn’t really matter during this meeting. It doesn’t really tend to, all that matters is that the Resistance is crushed in a timely matter. That was another thing that bound the group together- their mutual hatred for the Resistance. In fact, most of their meetings had to do with plotting and battle planning, or, in Cecil and Leaf’s case, designing ‘Trooper uniform attachments based on the local environment- surprise the Resistance motherfuckers, see how they like their troops slaughtered. It sickened the entire group, Hux especially, that the Resistance paraded around the galaxy with banners of “peace” but, in the same breath, spoke of bringing down the Order, which would require killing droves of people. Nameless or not, Stormtroopers were still people.

“Officer Leaf, you can’t honestly expect me to put… twig antlers onto ‘Trooper uniforms… can you?”

“Actually, sir, yes I do. On the planet those troops will be stationed on, there are slightly-larger than human creatures with branches for antlers. So really, the design Cecil and I came up with is really quite worth the work it creates,” Leaf replied, looking to Cecil.

“Agreed. The fake moss on the face and arms will also help should the troops need to duck onto the floor to hide. And the fake ferns on the back mimic fallen tree stumps. Really sir, the design’s pros outweigh the cons by quite a bit,” he finished, taking a breath.

“General, they do have valid points. You can’t shoot down every good idea simply because you didn’t come up with it-”

“I can and will. I have a reputation to uphold, _Captain_ , and I won’t let your silly favoritism send that reputation tumbling to the gr-” Hux stopped as he saw Kylo stand up from his seat, and a collective breath seemed to be held by the two designers.

“Both of you! Be quiet! Stop fighting like children. They do have valid points. And General, to be frank, shut up, your reputation won’t come crashing down because two people known to do important military work are given credit, instead of you,” Ren growled, sitting back down and glaring at the redhead.

“Well, that was something,” Leaf murmured to Cecil, whose eyes were currently focused on the floor. Phasma sighed at the Commander and the General, glaring at each other from opposite sides of the meeting table. On the side, Matthew jolted up from his sleep, looking around for the cause of the shouting. At this point, Leaf glanced over to see MarMar reaching for one of her blasters. Their eyes met Lord Ren’s, and Leaf nodded in the Lieutenant’s direction. Ren barely nodded back- but it was enough for the observant officer to understand.

                All very quickly, lieutenant MarMar brought her blaster up, and aimed for Lord Ren’s head. Phasma and Hux, wide eyed, rushed to stop her, Leaf dragging Cecil back to his seat when he tried to help too- it would be better not to get caught in the way of MarMar’s blaster fire. She fired, and a ray of plasma went flying halfway across the table. Over the vase of daisies and lilacs, the shot hovered, buzzing and burning some of the flowers. At this, Phasma made a sound of disapproval- though only Leaf noticed this, and sent their girlfriend a look of “really???”.

                “Lieutenant. The General has discussed this with you- firing at members of the Order is strictly prohibited unless inside of a training room or simulation, and even then your blaster must be set to stun or weaker. I am going to let you off with a warning, but this is your final warning,” Ren growled, glaring at her.

                “Well, excu-use me! Matthew here was just enjoying a nap before you yelled and woke him u-”

                “Napping in a meeting that could determine the survival of 400 people? That’s shameful. He ought to be demoted, you know,” Phasma said, giving her a stern look. MarMar opened her mouth to speak, but seemed to think better of it, and closed it before she could cause injury to Matthew’s or her own position and paycheck.

                “Just as I thought. Lieutenant, your and Matthew’s presence is no longer required in this meeting. You are dismissed,” Hux spoke, an irritated look ghosting his features. With a huff, MarMar picked up her jacket and left, and Matthew, looking ashamed, shuffled out of the room after her.

                “Now, General, I assume that given 10 minutes, you will be able to decide on whether or not to use Leaf and Cecil’s idea, yes? Good. Send me a message on my communicator with a clear yes or no. Your answer is due by the end of the day,” Kylo Ren sighed, looking at the Hux intently.

                “Sure, Ren. You should receive your answer within the next 2 hours,” the General said, putting on his greatcoat and, as he was halfway out the door, “Have a good lunch, Ren,” and then he was gone.

                “Darling, you are relieved of your duties for the rest of the day. Please wait in my room for me to return, alright? I’ll send someone to bring you lunch,” Phasma said, holding her helmet, “I’m sorry, but I have to oversee a few departures today. I love you,” she sighed, kissing Leaf’s forehead, putting the helmet on, leaving the room, and once again becoming the faceless Captain of the Order.

                “Oooh, someone’s in looove!” Cecil teased, nudging Leaf.

                “So are yoouuuu! Go kiss your boyfriend and quit bugging me,” the Officer replied, rolling their eyes, face covered in a blush.

                “Have a good day, Leaf,” Kylo sighed, flicking Cecil, and earning an indignant “hey!” in response.

                “You too, sir,” they replied, and the three left the room, each splitting into different hallways- Cecil to the cafeteria, Kylo to the control bridge, and Leaf to Phasma’s quarters.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading kudos and constructive criticism are much appreciated.


End file.
